Being a creative mum

If you're anything like me, then you are the sort of artist that works on a whim. You wake up to a sunny day, not too hot not too cold, and you think to yourself 'I'm gonna paint outside today.' Or perhaps it is rainy and you decide that you want to sit next to a window and write.

You're a parent now, though … so, how do you continue to fulfill all your crazy, spontaneous, whimsical notions? Seems impossible, right? The thing is, it's not impossible, but you will need to change a few things. 

I remember when my second child came into the world. He was needy, not as needy as my first, but he was definitely still needy. He constantly wanted to be fed and so I was attached to him permanently for the first 6 months. I still got writing done, though. I have a distinct memory of having him breastfeeding and kind of balancing my notebook on the side of the armchair (and partly on his feet) so I could write. It is doable but you have to be savvy and take opportunities where you can. And if you can't find opportunities, make them.

If your little ones are at an age where craft time is exciting for them. Take these moments to work on your own thing as a group. Grab that canvas that has been calling to you and pull out the paints. Make sure to get them their own brushes and paper or canvas (if you're so lucky to have more than one spare) otherwise your masterpiece will become theirs. Not that doing art together is a bad thing, but sometimes it is nice to have something for yourself and there is no shame in indulging in this. 

Learning to regain your creativity after becoming a mom is just as much an art form as it is to write a poem. It takes time and patience to find your stride again but just take baby steps. Even things as simple as finding the time to read a book (without pictures) is something that becomes difficult.

A friend and I had the brilliant idea to start a mom's creative club. We would meet once a week and hang out in her caravan while her husband looked after the kids (and likewise my hubby was at home with the boys playing video games before bedtime.) It was a great way to spend time with other moms and relax and get some of our creativity out. We would write or draw or anything we felt like doing (my BFF recently bought some embroidery thread for something else to purge our creative juices on) the point was that we would do something other than parenting for a couple of hours a week. 

Unfortunately, due to our respective shitty health situations, we have missed about 7 weeks of our little get-togethers but the point is that it was still done and we have plans to start again in the near future.

I feel that there is a lot of guilt that us mothers/parents feel about regaining some of the life we once had before becoming a parent. As if once our little bundle of joy and poopy nappies came into our lives that we are now a parent - we are a vessel for nurturing and feeding schedules - and we must not give in to the temptations of enjoying the things we once used to. 

I am not suggesting that we abandon our children and go live some bohemian lifestyle, doing yoga and drugs to find our true artist within... but taking some time to yourself and not abandoning the person you are just because you are a mother now, is not the end of the world, in fact I believe it to be necessary for our sanity. And perhaps, if we feel more fulfilled within ourselves, it will leave more room for successful parenting.

So, go make good art and try not to feel guilty for doing so.

Hugs xxx

  

Like a Queen by Constance Hall - Book Review

Like a Queen is a  mixture of self-help, auto-biography and parenting advice. But I think that all women (and some courageous men) would benefit from reading this brilliant book. Especially creative mums, this book is designed to bring hope and love in a dismal world full of dirty dishes, unwritten manuscripts, and blank canvases.

This was my first book for 2017, and I'm so glad it was. I have had a pretty tumultuous 24 months. With cancer scares and house fires and shitty insurance companies and marriage issues. This was the high that I needed to start the year on. With teachings of self-worth and coping with anxiety and more, this book is so bursting with positive messages, there is no way you could close its pages and not tell yourself what a rad bitch you really are.

"I wish I could tell every single woman with depression or anxiety or who has gotten herself into a situation that she doesn't think she can get out of, that something life-changing could be around the corner. You just have to wait, it will come, this slump isn't forever." - Constance Hall

Constance is funny and smart and real, raw in the way only an Aussie can be. He voice is strong and carries throughout the entire book. It is not overdone and feels genuine. She has a way of making you feel like you're mates that have known each other forever. When you finish you feel like picking up the phone to call her and say "Hey, good job on that book, darl!" and it was a little crushing knowing that was not possible. (hahahaha, crazy Adelise, thinking she can be friends with all the authors)

I think this is the quickest I have ever read a book, and there is a reason for that. It made me laugh and cry. As in, I was reading it on the loo at 5am while everyone else in the house was asleep, snorting with laughter, trying my hardest to stay quiet and failing miserably. But then, in the next chapter, I would be having to read without my glasses cause my tears were fogging up the glass and I could see better without them. If you're looking for something that will change your perspective for the better, then pick up this book.

Buy Now

There are a few typos here and there, but it is not enough to distract from the story. And I am pretty sure that, towards the end, there was a part in it where her therapist's name changed for a couple of paragraphs, which was odd. But in the age of self-publishing, we are getting books that the content is amazing but the editing is not the best. This is the price that we pay to allow great works onto our bookshelves when agents and publishers cannot bank on their success. It is still well written and relaxed, I never felt like she was talking down to me as if she knew better or had all the answers. Connie is just a chick that has done all the things and wants to share her story.

I do wish it was on audiobook. That would be amazing… Highly recommend this one! Read it now.

I'm home!

So... For those who don't know, over a year ago I had a house fire. We have been moving around for the past 12 months and we are now... finally... back home! Halle-fucking-lujah!

This what my kitchen looked like and the rest of the house was not much fucking better. We did loose everything material, but we are all alive and healthy.

If you have ever moved house with children, then you will feel my pain. Trying to explain to your young child that 'No, sorry, we can't go home,' or 'Sorry honey, that toy is gone now,' is heartbreaking.

When we set out to the first lot of family with only the clothes on our backs, we told the kids that we were going on an adventure. 

That was all we could tell them.

It was not a lie. The past 12 months has been an adventure, alright! One that has tested my family and marriage to the brink. Tested my resolve and drive to continue my career. I won't lie, I have applied for a few jobs... I didn't get any of them, but I was still looking and sending my resume out there.

Anyway, I have gone off topic. We are home!

This is my new kitchen (& me in my PJs looking psychotic). It is black like my soul, and I love it.

So, I am starting a new project... well, technically, I will be sharing a new project. I will be sharing with you, as of next week, the story I have been working on... which happens to be the prequel to the novel I am working on.

So, stay tuned. Keep writing/making art/doing what makes you happy!

Hugs AMC
xxx

Juggling life while trying to write

Word Count: 33,875
Day: Sunny and Freezing
Mood: Not too shabby

A problem that I seem to notice a lot of novice writers and big names seem to share is the ability, or the art, of being able to juggle normal civilian life and being a writer. We can't do it all. But I think it all boils down to a few points I'm going to skim over. 

• Time management- Being a mother, I know something about time management. Something. Not a lot. This is a writing blog not a mummy blog. But all the same, we do have to learn how to manage our time. I have spoken before about setting aside time for our writing and sticking with it. This is so important. Think about the routine you already have in place. There is no need to try to shift things around if you already have a routine. And then think about where in that routine could you fit in your writing. It might be the hour when you put your child down for a nap or your lunch break at work or after you finish your homework or - in my case - I decided about 4 years ago that sleep was for the dead and started waking myself up 3 hours early than absolutely necessary. 
• Priorities- This works in with time management. I prioritised writing over sleeping in till 8am. You might watch TV before bed or sit on social media while eating breakfast or something of the like. You have to think about the things you do and pick something that is less important than the nagging story in your head. When you find it, throw that thing away and insert writing time in its place. You'll never look back.
• Habit- try to make it the same for every day. This way it will become a habit and soon you will feel weird or off if you missed out on your precious writing time.

This past week has been tricky. I have had builder appointments for our house (no, they haven't even started rebuilding the bloody thing yet #sigh It is still a burnt out little shell...) My son sliced his foot open, work was busy last week, I've had book covers to make... gaah. It's been busy. I missed a couple of days here and there and my weekly word count is not what I would like it to be, but I have still got something done. 

We, as a human race, tend to be way too hard on ourselves. We get down on ourselves if we don't live up to our own or (worse yet) someone else's expectations. 

Life happens sometimes and there is nothing we can do about it. The point is that we pick ourselves back up, we open that computer or notebook and keep on going. 

Sometimes we have excuses and sometimes we make them. Not having time is one of those made up excuses, I feel. I have missed out on my morning writing time before so I have made up for it by writing on my phone while on the loo. #truestory 

I have a friend with 3 children under 4 and a chronic illness, and even she finds time to write!

Juggle your life just make sure that one of those balls is for writing.

Hugs xxx